


Die's Impossible Dreams

by VampireHydeFTW



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Birthday Party, Birthday Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 10:34:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13809390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireHydeFTW/pseuds/VampireHydeFTW
Summary: There are many things Die longs for but knows he can never get due to their nature but this year Kaoru is determined to show him that he's wrong. His dreams aren't impossible at all, you just need to think about things the right way.





	Die's Impossible Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Die's birthday.

            Die was pressed against the wall, moaning loudly as Kaoru took him roughly from behind. His hand rubbed along Die's erection and it was all starting to be too much, Die couldn't hold his orgasm much longer and with a gasp he let himself cum, knowing Kaoru wouldn't last that much longer anyway. Sure enough, seconds later Kaoru climaxed and slowly pulled away, removing the condom and throwing it into the bin nearby smiling almost sleepily at Die. Die had turned to face him wishing his legs would do a better job of supporting him, so he didn't have to rely so heavily on the wall to keep him up.

            They'd been doing this for a few months now, whenever Kaoru got horny he'd quietly take Die to one side and use the other guitarist for his pleasure. He wasn't cruel about it, he always pleasured Die as much as he could but he never put out and Die had never had the courage to ask. He knew he was just Kaoru's sexual outlet and the love between them was as co-workers and friends. No more, but no less.

            “It's your birthday soon, anything in particular you want?” Kaoru asked, as he began to re-dress as if nothing had happened, just like he always did. Usually Die was alright with this but recently there had been a few times when he wished this could go a little further. Why couldn't Kaoru hold him after they'd had sex? He wasn't clingy, it didn't have to be for hours on end, just while the post sex trance lasted, but even that was too much to ask and, scared to ruin things, he had remained silent on the matter.

            “How about to cum in your ass?” Die asked, using humour to cover up the emotional hole he felt after being used like this. “I bet it would be great to take the reins for once.”

            “Die,” Kaoru sighed. “Be serious. What do you want?”

            “I want to dominate you,” Die repeated stubbornly. “Or this beautiful jacket I saw the other day, I'm not that fussy.”

            “OK then,” Kaoru replied as he put on his shirt. “Just show it to me later and I’ll buy it you.”

            “Thanks.” Die replied, turning his back on Kaoru as he got dressed himself, not wanting the other guitarist to see the disappointed look on his face. Kaoru could have at least pretended to think about the idea before brushing it off so easily. Perhaps he should gather his self-respect and turn Kaoru down next time? His mother was right, it never did pay to be too easy.

            Kaoru was on the verge of leaving when he stopped and turned to glance at Die who was busy tying his shoe laces. It wasn't like him to be so quiet and for the first time Kaoru began to wonder if Die was as happy about their arrangement as he had been led to believe.

            “Hey Die, you are OK, right?” Kaoru worried.

            “I'm fine.” Die replied, flashing a forced smile as proof but not fooling anyone.

            “You were serious before, you want to top sometime, don't you?” Kaoru asked with a frown.

            “If you're so opposed to the idea, there's no point asking now is there?” Die replied, trying to appear cool and unconcerned but Kaoru knew him well enough to see the flaws in his act.

            “I must admit, I’ve only ever been topped by one man but it is your birthday,” Kaoru replied. “If it means a lot to you, then I’ll let you have your way.”

            “I wouldn't want to put you out.” Die argued.

            “The offer isn't going to last long. Ten, Nine.” Kaoru began to count.

            “OK then, on my birthday you have to be my little whore.” Die ordered, hoping he wasn't going too far. “You have to be submissive, eager to please and let me cum in your ass.”

            “That's not even safe.” Kaoru argued.

            “We'll get tested before hand, as long as neither of us sleeps with anyone else after the tests, it'll be fine.” Die reassured Kaoru who found himself giving in.

            “Because it's your birthday and I love you,” Kaoru relented. “You can even have the jacket thrown in.”

            “Thanks Kaoru!” Die exclaimed, happily kissing the lead guitarist’s cheek in delight, right now he could even pretend that Kaoru's confession of love was more than that of a friend.

 

            “What kind of party do you want?” Toshiya asked later that week, having taken it upon himself to plan the whole thing, with Shinya's help off course. Toshiya loved to think he was a great event organiser but he was disorganised and would forgot important things if the drummer didn't quietly steer him along the right track.

            “A beach party. With a barbecue and watermelons and volleyball,” Die replied. “Just my luck to be born in December.”

            “We could still go to the beach and have a barbecue, even if it snows.” Toshiya offered but Die shook his head.

            “No, it has to be hot and everyone in beach clothes or what's the point?” He asked. “Just book out a hotel or something and invite all my friends. I'll never get my summer birthday, though it took me the first five years of my life before I realised that.”

            “Perhaps we could decorate the place to look like a beach or something?” Shinya suggested.

            “Decorate where?” Kaoru asked, as he walked in and took his place on the sofa.

            “We're discussing Die's birthday party,” Toshiya explained. “He wanted a summer beach party but of course that's not possible. We're trying to make a summer theme instead.”

            “I see,” Kaoru replied thoughtfully. “Well we're not on tour, why don't we all take a week off and go to Australia for a few days?”

            “Take time off work?” Die exclaimed stunned. “OK, who are you and what have you done with Kaoru?”

            “No, I'm serious, we need a break and its summer there right now.” Kaoru replied firmly.             “You'd honestly give us all time off for my birthday?” Die asked beyond stunned.

            “Why not, we all need a break. You all work so hard, except Kyo who can't be bothered to show up to this meeting on time.” Kaoru scolded, as the vocalist failed to sneak into the room unnoticed.

            “I know you were late too!” Kyo declared. “I saw your car go by when I was buying cigarettes. You can't fool me.”

            “It's fine, you can still come with us,” Kaoru reassured Kyo. “We're all going to Australia for Die's birthday, so he can have a beach party.”

            “What?” Kyo exclaimed frowning. “This isn't some secret filming location is it? You never let us have more than a day off for a birthday.”

            “Well maybe the Christmas spirit has put me in a good mood?” Kaoru replied with a shrug, trying to shake the band’s attention away from the fact he was unintentionally favouring Die.

            “That or you're sleeping with him.” Kyo muttered. To Kaoru's credit he only smiled and shook his head, though Die found his drink spurting out of his nose at such a statement.

            “Like Kaoru is into men.” Die muttered, blushing bright red.

            “That's true, perhaps Shinya in drag.” Kyo agreed.

            “Is that a compliment or an insult?” Shinya asked confused, making everyone laugh. They were off the hook now and the conversation quickly returned to planning Die's birthday party, until Kaoru realised an hour had passed and insisted they made up for it later in the day. Well he was back to his old self, which was probably a good thing, Die really didn't want it to get around that he and Kaoru slept together. Not when he felt almost ashamed about what they were doing, the last thing he wanted was the others thinking he was nothing but a cheap whore.

 

            Die's party arrived and they were all on the beach playing volleyball, just like he had always dreamed. Kyo was tending the barbecue, claiming he didn't enjoy the game though they had all mocked him, saying it was because he was too short to be any good. Life was great and as Die managed to score another point for Shinya and himself, he was grinning like a fool.

            “We won!” He declared happily, as he exchanged a high five with Shinya and went to inspect the food feeling hungry. It would have been nice for all his friends to make it here but so close to Christmas only the band had been willing to spend so much on a week in Australia. They had spared no expense on the hotel, split between two suites, one of which Kaoru had made sure he shared alone with Die.

            “Only because we let you.” Toshiya complained as he followed Die and grabbed a beer for himself before realising he probably should offer them around. “Want one?” He offered and Die happily accepted, finding it hard to believe he was drinking beer on a beach in swimming trunks in December. If only he had thought to come to Australia before!

            “Kyo, why is everything black?” Kaoru wondered as he stared down at the barbecue and then back at the vocalist who smiled innocently.

            “Have to make sure it's cooked. It tastes better this way.” He reassured Kaoru, as Die helped himself to a burger and agreed that without a doubt it did taste good.

            “Just needs mayonnaise.” He declared, finding the bottle and pouring it on liberally after finding a bread roll to put his burger in, ignoring the American tourists who simply didn't understand Japanese ways. He took another bite and then noticed Kaoru was staring at him.

            “You have some on your chin, might want to clean it off.” The guitarist explained and Die quickly wiped it away, realising exactly why Kaoru was acting so strange. He hadn't meant to tease the guitarist like that and he felt a little bit bad about it. The energy between them seemed to have changed now that the innocence had been ruined and Die couldn't help but notice every little look Kaoru threw his way. It excited him to know he had turned the other on so easily and he wondered how the others couldn't see the sexual tension that was building between them. Perhaps it was just him? Maybe he was imagining everything, so excited about the gift Kaoru had promised him tonight. Perhaps it was just that they hadn't had sex for two weeks, as they had both promised not to touch anyone else in that time. Did he really mean so much to Kaoru that the other would resist his urges, just so they could have one night together without worrying about safety? He must do because Kaoru wouldn't lie to him or put his health at risk. It touched him and reminded him that he wasn't just Kaoru's outlet for sexual energy, he was also Kaoru's dear friend.

 

            “I think Die can have his presents now.” Kaoru decided after dinner, much to Die's delight. He'd been forced to wait all day to receive anything and he wasn't the most patient of men, something his friends could testify too.

            Like a man possessed, he ripped open paper and gift bags, thanking whoever had given him the gift before moving onto the next, delighted his friends had remembered to go for quantity and not quality when it came to gifts this year. Why have one present, when you could have five or six? The fun was in the surprise anyway, he could buy whatever he wanted, or needed, for himself.

            Still it was Kaoru's presents that caught his interest and stuck in his memory, the jacket he had asked for had been accompanied by a belt and a six pack of beer, all wrapped individually which had him laughing in delight as he tried to guess what each one was, even though he already knew. The final gift came in a small box and he pulled it open carefully, staring down at a silver ring shaped like a bat with its two wings touching and bright red eyes staring up at him, rubies if he was made to guess.

            “Kaoru,” Die stammered surprised, as he slid it on his finger and stared down at it in shock. What was he supposed to say about this? Kaoru never bought other men jewellery unless they asked for it and he couldn't help but think this must have more meaning than just being a birthday gift, but if it did, if it was special, wouldn't he have saved it for later?

            “We get it, you love it, now open my mine!” Toshiya demanded, throwing a package his way. Saying his thanks for the ring rather inadequately, Die opened this new gift, getting covered in a layer of confetti as he did so. It took a while to even find the guitar pick within and pulling it out he laughed.

            “This is my pick!” He exclaimed “You stole it and gave it to me?”

            “It always makes the fans so happy when they receive your guitar picks, you should be equally delighted.” Toshiya scolded.

            “You could have at least given me one of yours!” Die mock complained, finding a large shoe box sized gift thrown at him by the excited bassist.

            “It's in there, if you can find it.” Toshiya promised and feeling rather cautious Die opened what was in fact a shoe box filled with sand and apparently Toshiya's guitar pick.

            “You're an idiot.” Die muttered, though he was laughing, trust Toshiya to come up with such crazy presents. 

 

            It was much later, after a long night enjoying a drink in any and every pub that they could find, that they returned to the hotel and saying their good nights, Kaoru and Die were finally alone for the first time that day. Now would be the time to claim his last gift and so the second the door closed, he pushed Kaoru back against a wall and began kissing him, barely able to restrain himself.

            “Die wait,” Kaoru begged, trying to push the other away but finding it difficult to do so. “You never told me if you kept you're promise.”

            “Nobody but you.” Die agreed flicking his tongue over Kaoru's ear before teasing the lobe with his teeth, as his whole body was grinding against his friend, who just couldn't help but respond.

            “Good.” Kaoru agreed, grabbing Die's ass and pulling him even closer, that seemed to be all he wanted, as he voiced no further protests and did his best to submit to Die's demands, though all his instincts screamed at him to throw Die down and take him hard in the ass right here in the hall.

            His hand sliding over Kaoru's crotch, Die was pleased to feel a familiar hard length there and he squeezed gently before yanking down the zip and unfastening the button letting the jeans fall to the floor. As he pulled down Kaoru's underwear, he smiled at the sight before him. Old habits died hard and he found himself unable to resist the temptation off sucking on this godly erection. Falling onto his knees, he let Kaoru bury his fingers in his air and sucked hard and eager until he began to taste pre-cum in his mouth.

            “Strip and crawl to the bedroom.” Die ordered, as he climbed to his feet holding his hormones in check for now. He had a plan and as drunk and horny as he might be he could hold himself in check to do this.

            “Crawl?” Kaoru repeated, as he unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall to the floor.

            “You heard me,” Die replied. “I want to stare at the ass I'm going to fill so very soon.”

            “If it wasn't your birthday.” Kaoru muttered as he did as he was told, well aware of the perverted smile on Die's face as he followed, stripping his clothes off in a trail behind them until they reached the bedroom naked and way beyond eager.

            “You trust me, right?” Die asked. “You'll do anything I ask tonight?”

            “Right now, I think I should say no.” Kaoru replied suspiciously but Die only laughed and pulled out two leather wrists bands, which he fastened securely around Kaoru's wrists before he picked up a leather collar that had two short chains attached.

            “Do you trust me enough?” Die whispered and rather intrigued Kaoru found himself nodding and allowed the collar to be placed around his neck, feeling his heart race in nervous excitement. He had never been tied up before, never thought he could enjoy it, but somehow when it was Die he knew he would be fine.

            “I trust you Die.” Kaoru found himself admitting, much to Die's delight.

            “Good, now crawl on the bed.” Die ordered beyond excited to be doing this, who ever thought that he would get Kaoru allowing himself to be tied up for his enjoyment? It was beyond his wildest dreams but it was his reality and he loved it. “OK, head down.” He encouraged before clipping each of the chains to the wrist bands, forcing Kaoru to keep his head within fifteen centimetres of his wrists at all time. The result was his ass been forced higher in the air and though Die would have loved to use every chain and rope in his collection, he knew that would be pushing things too far and he had left them at home anyway.

            Slowly rubbing Kaoru's ass, Die took in the sight before him grinning like an idiot before he found the lube and liberally coated his fingers, knowing preparation was even more important than usual with Kaoru being so unused to being taken. It was actually shocking to think he had been taken before, he was normally so tough, so macho and when they were together before tonight he hadn't left a single inch for Die to take advantage off. He had to submit or say no and saying no just didn't seem like a valid option. How could he deny the wishes of his precious leader?

            Slowly Die slid that first finger inside, feeling Kaoru tense and then force himself to relax as he did so, burying it in deep he found the guitarists prostrate and rubbed it lightly, getting gasps as he did but no other sign he was pleasing him at all. So Kaoru was quiet and liked to play it tough? That didn't surprise him and he began to slid his finger in and out, getting him used to the movement as his other hand leisurely stroked himself for a few moments, trying to hold back his need to take another but only making things worse. Letting his erection go, he stroked Kaoru's back instead, commenting on how smooth his skin was, how nice his ass was, how arousing having him bent like this was. Anything to calm Kaoru down and distract him from the second finger that he slid in beside the first, bending his knuckles slightly and finally getting the moan he craved to hear, a moan he complimented Kaoru on straight away.

            Kaoru wanted to curse Die for being so slow, for dragging this out and turning him into a quivering mess. His body displayed all his feelings to the other’s prying eyes and he couldn't do anything about it. He was a mess and he was sure Die knew it. He felt like a tiger caught in a trap, a viscous animal at the mercy of man, though he found he wanted to be trapped. He wanted Die to have this power, could a tiger ever become a pet?

            Then came the moment when Die took him, filling him up and forcing him to bite back a scream of pleasure. This was good, not painful at all, as Die knew what he was doing and he realised that it didn't matter if a tiger could be domesticated or not because he wasn't one and right now he was entirely Die's. His hips pushed up to meet Die's forward thrusts and he realised he was moaning into the bedsheets as the guitarist took him fast and hard, bringing nothing but pleasure. A hand wrapped around his waist and he felt his erection getting the attention it craved as Die kissed his shoulders, all the while still managing to keep up his relentless assault of his ass. It was all too much, he wasn't used to being treated like this, and his body gave in and he found himself coming against the bedsheets as he trembled in sheer delight. Even then Die didn't relent his pace, though his hands did move onto Kaoru's hips holding him still as he intensified his assault, holding back as long as he could before filling Kaoru with his cum and pulling back so he could watch it spill out of the guitarists ass, a visible reminder of what he had just done.

            Grinning like a fool, Die released Kaoru's chains and watched the guitarist stretch as he lay back smirking in delight. He had got exactly what he had asked for and couldn't have had a better birthday than this one. It was all thanks to Kaoru being so agreeable and finding a way to party on a beach, just like he had always dreamed of, though Kaoru's next actions took him completely off guard.

            “Die, hold me.” Kaoru begged, looking so pitiful that he couldn't even mock him for it. Wordlessly Die obeyed, dragging the band leader into his arms and stroking his back, wondering what was wrong but refusing to ask in case it had been him. Had he hurt Kaoru? Had he been so bad that Kaoru only felt abused? He didn't want to know and so he remained quiet for once, embracing Kaoru as he breathed in the lingering scent of his cologne that had made it through the night.

            “I'm sorry, I always get like this if I submit,” Kaoru eventually admitted. “It makes me feel used, no matter what, and I need to feel loved for a while after. I hate people seeing me like this but it was you who asked.”

            “You could have said no, I never expected you to say yes,” Die admitted. “Why didn't you?”

            “Because if it's you, then I don't mind showing this side of me,” Kaoru explained. “I don't mind if you see me so pathetic that I have to beg to be hugged. I don't mind, well anything. If it's you, then everything is OK.”

            “You sound like you're in love with me.” Die tried to joke but Kaoru didn't laugh, if anything he seemed startled and then came the two words of confession that shook his world.

            “I am.” Kaoru whispered, just like that but there was no need for anything else.

            “OK,” Die replied. “I can live with that.”

            “Oh.” Kaoru replied sounding hurt, had he expected Die to make a confession of his own?

            “I mean, if you like, I could be your boyfriend?” Die suggested, his heart racing in his chest. “Recently I haven't been entirely happy with our relationship. I wanted more but I thought you'd just stop sleeping with me if I said anything, so I stayed silent and told myself to be grateful for the part of you that I can get.”

            “The ring you're wearing, I’ve had it for a few weeks but I could never get up the courage to ask you out, never mind give it you. It was supposed to be my way of marking you as my boyfriend but I chickened out and gave it you as a birthday present instead.” Kaoru admitted.

            “This ring? That's not a birthday present,” Die argued. “It's a physical brand that I'm yours, and a promise I will not make sleep with anyone else. Except the one woman in my life.”

            “What woman?” Kaoru demanded stunned, he hadn't heard anything about Die having a girlfriend.

            “My guitar. You'd better not get jealous of her because I’ll take her side in every argument.” Die warned.

            “Oh, if it's her then I’ll control my jealousy.” Kaoru promised.

            “Of course you will, you're the man who made three of my impossible dreams come true.” Die replied smiling. “Dominating you, a summer beach party in December and starting a serious relationship with a man I swore only used me for his pleasure.”

            “I still plan to use you for my pleasure,” Kaoru warned. “Whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want.”

            “I may just start arguing the last one, you've so beautiful when you're at my mercy.” Die warned but instead of answering back, Kaoru initiated the first official kiss with his new boyfriend, already wondering how he could make next year’s birthday even more amazing for Die, it would be their one year anniversary after all.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             


End file.
